Dear Congress:
Since it seems to be allowance time for financial institutions that have completely mismanaged their money and, since I am also a financial entity that has "issues", I was curious when my bail out money is coming?
If it helps speed up the issuing of my billions, I promise to invite you to my $440,000 Posh California Spa Celebration when I get it. I'll bet AIG didn't invite you to theirs! How rude!
Thank you in advance for all the free money.
Best Regards,
The Brat In The Hat
ON THE UPSIDE: I have some serious plans for my billions! I plan to pay my rent, buy some groceries and put gas in my car and not cringe!
Visit The BRAT in the HAT RANTORIUM EMPORIUM for bratty, cheeky, irreverent, humorous, tongue in cheek GIFTS, APPAREL, CARDS & OTHER GROUCH GOODIES!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Thanks In Advance For All The Free Money!
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6 comments:
Oh, Ms. Brat--
I'm so glad you wrote Congress thanking them in advance for your bailout. But, you forgot an important point: your Golden Parachute. Once your brat status begins to wane and you want to turn in your hat and bail, you'll need a cool twenty or so million to keep you complaining in the style to which you've become accustomed. Then, I think, and only then, do they deserve the party you promised!
Eileen - if they send me enough money I could buy my own Golden Parachute - I could maybe even get a Platinum Parachute lined in Ermine if they send me billions. . . .
Now Brat - you missed one key element here. And unfortunately, I think it's the one that will keep you from receiving your billions. You see, Congress only bails out those who are in trouble because they mismanaged their finances. You, on the other hand, are in trouble because Congress has allowed these companies - and themselves - to mismanage their finances. So I'm not entirely sure you qualify. Now why don't you go out, line up a ton of investors, be completely irresponsible with your money, lie to the American public for a few months, throw some lavish parties for your local politicians, file for bankruptcy while claiming a huge bonus for yourself as CEO, and then ask for help. You'll be a shoe-in!
Melodieann- I'm not sure I can be that stupid or greedy! Hahahaha!
Great post! I stopped by for Thursday 13 and wandered on thru your blog. I'll be back fo sure.
Debbie - Thanks for stopping by my Thursday Thirteen and reading other posts too!
I hope you enjoy my next rants - I never guarantee when they'll come - hey, who plans on things to rant about? - but life being what it is I'm sure there will be many more, lol!
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